“the grieving person knows when they are being let go, when they have become the ‘inconvenient friend’” Danielle these words are so very real and true, sadly. Again your words have brought your followers to a deeper understanding of loss and recovery.
Such true words. We can never know in advance how some people just don’t seem to have the capacity to be with us in our pain, whilst others, who we may least expect it, will show up for us. And then there are the new friendships with fellow grievers which develop so quickly…because there is no need for small talk, I guess, and we thirst for being real about what we’re going through.
A lovely piece, Danielle. And the photos made me smile. After all the loss, you so deserve these happy moments with a special friend who loves you ❤️
Danielle, I'm sorry for the many losses you have had, each one painful in so many ways. You so clearly spell out, in beautiful word chemistry, how loss and grief affect a child's world. I'm so happy you found Toby, however briefly, and the lessons he had to teach you about love. Hugs to you!
Thank you so much, Nikki. “Word chemistry,” I love that!
Looking back on these experiences from my adult self, I see things with so much more clarity. Offering that to others through writing was Toby’s wish for me.
Danielle, this is very good! I’m so happy you and your friend reconnected! There’s nothing like good friends! You and she have been through so much, together. 🙏
those last two lines are everything - "Friendships really can grow here. Friendships, both old and new, are possible for grieving hearts." I think grief likes to trick us into thinking nothing good can happen again, but it's not true. Sometimes it's the fertile ground for growing the new, good things. Thanks so much for sharing this 💕
I totally agree with your reflections here… grief (and the other experiences we often have around it) can make us feel estranged from many things. It can even sometimes feel protective to believe that nothing good can ever happen again.
Grief is so crazy. I listen to Family Radio. It’s a Christian radio station. It’s really helped. Jesus has been carrying me as He has been carrying all of us. My grief manifests itself in not wanting to talk to too many people. I don’t always feel like talking.
Thank you, Bob. Our friend, Ashleigh, took these pictures. Funnily enough, she went to the same elementary and high school as Jessica and me. Looking at these photos, I think she was perhaps the only one who could have brought our bond to life through her incredible eye and talent as a photographer.
I love your friendship and that Jessica is there showing up exactly as you need her now, even when things didn’t go the way either of you wanted so many years ago 💜
Thank you, friend. And thank you so much for bringing our friendship to life with your amazing talent. We had so many laughs that day taking these pictures with you. I like to think Toby was there somehow, laughing along with us.
Danielle, the red juice box feels like the first small proof of what this friendship could hold: laughter arriving before either of you had language for all the grief still to come. The hard wisdom here is your refusal to make repair sentimental; Jessica’s return matters, and so does your clarity that some ruptures need acknowledgment without reconnection. The section on becoming the “inconvenient friend” names a secondary grief many grieving people carry in silence, watching relationships fade when loss makes ordinary friendship harder. Thank you for giving friendship after rupture a shape that includes bathroom floors, wedding joy, Toby’s tree, old wreckage, and the possibility that grieving hearts can still be reached.
“the grieving person knows when they are being let go, when they have become the ‘inconvenient friend’” Danielle these words are so very real and true, sadly. Again your words have brought your followers to a deeper understanding of loss and recovery.
💜💜
Thank you, mom.
Such true words. We can never know in advance how some people just don’t seem to have the capacity to be with us in our pain, whilst others, who we may least expect it, will show up for us. And then there are the new friendships with fellow grievers which develop so quickly…because there is no need for small talk, I guess, and we thirst for being real about what we’re going through.
A lovely piece, Danielle. And the photos made me smile. After all the loss, you so deserve these happy moments with a special friend who loves you ❤️
Esther, your comment brought such warmth to me. Thank you.
Danielle, I'm sorry for the many losses you have had, each one painful in so many ways. You so clearly spell out, in beautiful word chemistry, how loss and grief affect a child's world. I'm so happy you found Toby, however briefly, and the lessons he had to teach you about love. Hugs to you!
Thank you so much, Nikki. “Word chemistry,” I love that!
Looking back on these experiences from my adult self, I see things with so much more clarity. Offering that to others through writing was Toby’s wish for me.
I’m so glad you’re here 💜
Danielle, this is very good! I’m so happy you and your friend reconnected! There’s nothing like good friends! You and she have been through so much, together. 🙏
Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed this story.
And it’s true what you say about friendship. 💜💜
those last two lines are everything - "Friendships really can grow here. Friendships, both old and new, are possible for grieving hearts." I think grief likes to trick us into thinking nothing good can happen again, but it's not true. Sometimes it's the fertile ground for growing the new, good things. Thanks so much for sharing this 💕
Thank you, Alyssa 💜
I totally agree with your reflections here… grief (and the other experiences we often have around it) can make us feel estranged from many things. It can even sometimes feel protective to believe that nothing good can ever happen again.
But like you say here, that’s not true.
So very true.
💜💜 Thank you, Gay. Your support means so much.
Grief is so crazy. I listen to Family Radio. It’s a Christian radio station. It’s really helped. Jesus has been carrying me as He has been carrying all of us. My grief manifests itself in not wanting to talk to too many people. I don’t always feel like talking.
I don’t always feel like talking either. I used to be much more extroverted, but I think my grief changed that about me.
I’m so glad you’ve found something that has helped carry you 💜
Keep in touch. Please feel free to send me messages. We understand each other.
I used to drive Home from work blasting rock music.
Believe it or not, Jesus is carrying you too!
I devoured your words. Loved the rawness and how genuine it was.
This made my day. Thank you so much 💜🥹
Never, ever forgotten. 💜
Thank you, friend 💜💜💜
Beautiful photos! It looks like you are lucky to have each other!
Thank you, Emmie. Our friend Ashleigh took these. She captured the spirit of our friendship so beautifully.
This is beautiful, Danielle. I loved reading this and I’m so glad you reconnected.
Thank you, David 💜💜. I’m so glad too.
These are beautiful photographs of your friendship.
Thank you, Bob. Our friend, Ashleigh, took these pictures. Funnily enough, she went to the same elementary and high school as Jessica and me. Looking at these photos, I think she was perhaps the only one who could have brought our bond to life through her incredible eye and talent as a photographer.
I love your friendship and that Jessica is there showing up exactly as you need her now, even when things didn’t go the way either of you wanted so many years ago 💜
Thank you, friend. And thank you so much for bringing our friendship to life with your amazing talent. We had so many laughs that day taking these pictures with you. I like to think Toby was there somehow, laughing along with us.
This story is for my best friend, Jessica 💜
Danielle, the red juice box feels like the first small proof of what this friendship could hold: laughter arriving before either of you had language for all the grief still to come. The hard wisdom here is your refusal to make repair sentimental; Jessica’s return matters, and so does your clarity that some ruptures need acknowledgment without reconnection. The section on becoming the “inconvenient friend” names a secondary grief many grieving people carry in silence, watching relationships fade when loss makes ordinary friendship harder. Thank you for giving friendship after rupture a shape that includes bathroom floors, wedding joy, Toby’s tree, old wreckage, and the possibility that grieving hearts can still be reached.